We all feel different from other people to some extent because we experience ourselves from the inside and others from the outside.
But for some of us there is more than that.
It doesn't take much to make us feel different: an unusual appearance -- for better or worse -- intelligence that is somewhat above or below the average, a background that is dissimilar from that of the people around us. Any number of things can make us feel as though we don't fit in.
Our uniqueness can make us feel special sometimes, but it can also leave us feeling isolated, without the comfort of close relationships.
We want to be who we are, but we suffer from the separation and isolation that can result.
Must we conform in order to belong? No, a thousand times no.
God made people different.
He loves variety -- just look at nature.
It is culture and society that try to force us to conform to a uniform model. That's not God's plan. It's not how he made us to be. People want conformity because they're afraid. That's not a good reason.
Your uniqueness is a gift, a gift from God, and therefore to be treasured.
How then do we handle the pressures to be like others? I see three options: fake it, flaunt it, or forget it.
- Fake it -- I can work to look and act like the people around me. This means living a lie and denying some of my God-given uniqueness and value. It also makes for superficial relationships. They have to be superficial because I have to keep the real "me" hidden. A lot of people take this option.
- Flaunt it -- I can deliberately separate myself from others, telling myself that I'm not interested in them anyway. This is living a lie because it's denying the God-given uniqueness and value of other people. It's also lonely and sad.
- Forget it -- God made me the way I am because he wanted someone like me to love. That's why God made you too, because he wanted someone like you to love. You help complete his creation. That's a great source of security, and it's a fact that you can build your life on.
God made other people the way they are because he wanted someone like them to love too. This can be harder to believe, especially about people we don't like. But accepting it about others is the foundation for accepting it about ourselves.
None of us is perfect as we are, but God loves us all just as we are.
As long as we see others as ordinary and uninteresting, our own uniqueness will be a burden to us.
We can enjoy our own uniqueness more as we recognize and appreciate the uniqueness of others.
Unique means one-of-a-kind, and we're all that. Just look at our faces.
