Solid, enduring friendships are essential for a full life

Friendships are essential, and when we're dissatisfied with our friendships, we feel disconnected from our world, our community.

We can feel discontented with our friendships because

  1. we do not have reasonable expectations of our friendships,
  2. our friendships don't have a solid basis.

Reasonable expectations:

We're all imperfect people, so our friendships are going to be imperfect, too.

We'll say the wrong thing sometimes, or get so wrapped up in our own lives that we'll be neglectful of what is going on in the life of our friend. And our friends will do the same to us.

The only cure for unreasonable expectations is humility before God and a willingness to forgive.

Humility before God reminds us that we're not the center of the universe.

It also keeps us aware of our own on-going need for forgiveness, which I believe God grants to those who know they need it and seek it. Gratitude for having been forgiven then prompts us to extend the same forgiveness to others.

Solid basis for the friendship:

Good friendships need to be rooted in good soil.

Good soil is shared interests that are positive, that bring out the best in both you and your friend. A strong basis for a friendship will help it endure through the times when we step on each others toes.

A friendship that is based on common interests that are superficial will, necessarily, have shallower roots than one based on common interests that are nearer to our hearts, that are more closely tied to our deepest humanity.

The deepest connection between two people is one based on shared faith because that is the core of our identity.

This is true for both religious and non-religious people because what we believe in determines who we are.

The best friendships encourage our passion for the good and true. These are worth taking the time and having the patience to nourish.

Good friendships take time, humility, forgiveness, and a solid and deep basis for connection.

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Our Relationship with God

The Christian Faith