Forgiving and Being Forgiven

We'd all like to be free from the weight of our past mistakes. Whenever they come to mind, we either get down on ourselves or we rationalize our behaviors. Neither is useful. Neither frees us in the long term.

We need to be forgiven, completely and permanently. Only God, the one we have offended the most, can do that. The good news is that He will, if we ask.

When God forgives us, he frees us -- over time -- from the pain of remembering the sins of our pasts, and he removes the barrier that those sins have created between us and him (which means, among other things that when we pray, we know he hears).

When I do something that hurts another person, my action stands in the way of there being a close, loving relationship between that person and me.

To restore the relationship, two transactions have to happen:

1. I need to apologize, and the other person needs to accept my apology.
2. The other person needs to forgive me, and I need to accept his forgiveness.

For the relationship to be restored, both transactions have to happen: the giving and receiving of the apology, and the giving and receiving of forgiveness.

It's the same between God and us. Our part is to apologize and to accept God's forgiveness.

Every wrong that we have ever done, we've done against God because he is the creator of the universe and he created it to be good. Every time we were selfish, or mean, or impatient, or critical, we went against the design of God. We sinned against God. (We really don't want to hear that, but it turns out that it's not as bad as it sounds. Read on.)

Because we love and understand our children, we forgive them for the errors of their childhoods, but we do expect them to grow up. So it is with God and us.

He is willing to forgive all of the sins (the wrongs) of our spiritual growing up years, regardless of how long it's taken us to get to this point, but only if we're willing to grow up, to make an effort to stop behaving in selfish and childish ways.

This doesn't mean that we have to change over night.

It takes a long time for our spirits to grow up. In fact, no one finishes in this life time. We do need to want to grow up, however, to be changed by God into more patient, kind, honest people. He will transform us over time, if we are willing.

How does a person get God to forgive him? He simply (but sincerely) apologizes and accepts God's forgiveness. God's forgiveness is there already, waiting for us to apologize and receive it.

In the Catholic Church, a believer can talk to a priest about it and receive God's forgiveness through him. This is very helpful. It helps us to be more honest about what we have actually done, and it allows us to be sure we've actually been forgiven. God knows our human nature, you see, and he knows that we're inclined to be either too easy or too hard on ourselves. So he gave us a way to correct for that.

God gave us his forgiveness when he gave us himself. Jesus brought with him the forgiveness of God the Father. That is what his life with us was all about. That is what genuine Christianity is all about.