Self Esteem
Self Esteem
I can think I'm doing pretty well one day and be down on myself the next. The truth is I have a very hazy picture of who I actually am.
Others can see elements in my character that I am entirely blind to. None of our judgments of ourselves has much connection with reality. We simply aren't good judges of ourselves.
When we feel especially pleased with ourselves, others may be viewing us critically. After all, we're likely to be critical when we see someone else being excessively proud.
On the other side, when we feel particularly bad about ourselves, others may wonder what we're making such a fuss about. What we did doesn't seem that bad to them.
Self-esteem, how we evaluate ourselves compared to other people or compared to some standard that we set for ourselves, is simply not a reliable indication of our worth.
When we are trapped in negative feelings about ourselves, the solution is not to replace the negative feelings with positive feelings. The solution is to change the subject.
Low self-esteem isn't the problem. It's making ourselves the subject of our thoughts so much of the time that's the problem.
We are supposed to be aware of the things that we do wrong, but dwelling on them isn't useful. Similarly, we will sometimes be aware of the things that we do well, but dwelling on them isn't useful either. One leads to depression; the other to arrogance.
When we fail and when we succeed, the healthiest response is to notice, learn from it, and move on.
Contrary to what we've been taught all of our lives, our value is not based on our most recent failure or success. It is not even based on the sum of our failures and successes.
Our value is based on who we are in relation to God, who is the only one who can judge accurately, for he knows all about us, all about everything that we have done and why, all about everything that has been done to us.
In God's eyes, we are each of infinite worth. He loves and accepts each one of us completely.
As a person comes to know God's love for him, the ups and downs of successes and failures become simply hills and valleys in our journeys. They all teach us something, but none of them defines us. None determines our worth.
Our worth doesn't change from day to day, but we can discover more of who we are from day to day. That's part of why we're here.
Read on . . .